Over the top?, Maybe.
It’s how I do things, sort of.
At least when I really want something.
For you, I’ve gone off the deep end.
May seem strange, considering society,
but for me “not normal” is just another day.
And I’m holding back believe it or not.
Who knows the depths if I actually let loose.
It’s my approach, always has been.
Has it worked? Thus far, no.
But I know no other way.
Besides, if it hasn’t worked it doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t.
It might just have been directed at the wrong people.
And who knows, maybe it wasn’t even the wrong people, just the wrong time.
Or perhaps they were indeed the wrong ones, so I could learn something.
So that I could have arrived to this point,
with this experience, this knowledge.
So that I could realize what I see in you.
But perhaps it’s all just me trying to make something happen before its’ time.
If so I should slow down with how I think about you then,
you’re not mine, at least not right now.
Even thinking “not right now” makes me despise myself a bit though.
It indicates that I think you will be mine at some point.
As if I’m the right guy for you. Am I?
Maybe. I’d love it if I was,
but it’s better to think that I’m not when I am,
than to think I am when I’m not.
So I don’t know.
I hope, I pray, but I still don’t know.
If it’s meant to be then it will.
But what if it’s not?
Am I wasting time hoping, praying that it is?
Is my mind being distracted from what it should be focused on?
Or am I onto something?
I mean, every story has a beginning, this might be ours.